I am a feminist and have been on both sides of relationships.
I married my high school sweetheart. We shared so much in life. Besides our history we loved the same exact things about life. When we decided to be a young farm family we were embraced by the community in the state. We had great support from family, too. We knew what we were doing. After two years of hard work we had a son born to us. We could not be happier.
When we were visiting my sister-in-law and her family for an evening meal my then husband bragged about wanting a second child. I stopped the pill without pause and in no time I was expecting again. I was five months pregnant when I learned my husband was having an affair. I am not going to get into the details, but, it was devastating and the marriage did not survive it for many reasons including financial pressure that came with a change in his dedication to our dream farm.
It was primarily substance abuse and it was ongoing even after I learned of it and his family told him they would not support him through any such change in lifestyle. Sexual identity didn't play a part. It took eight years, but, when my former spouse came back to his parents home he was clean and working a job far different than a farm. We were divorced by then. He deeply regretted what had happened to "The Us" he no longer had.
I was raising two children alone, returned to school and started a new career all because a local female drug dealer thought farming was fun.
During my return to being single I dated a few men. I was seeing a man when one day I was at work and a co-worker came up to me and asked if I was seeing John Smith (mythical name). I smiled and said yes as a matter of fact we had spent the previous evening together. My co-worker told me he was married. I could not believe it. There were no clues to his married status. My co-worker then told me who his wife was and I knew her from my employment. I cut off the relationship regardless of the pain I was feeling.
Even after boyfriend told me he was separated and saw no need to share that; I simply told him he needed to be more honest with any women he sees in the future. He was the father of two children. Being involved with a married man and a family man is hugely wrong. A woman needs to date honestly to know if there are children on his side of the equation and what that meant for her life.
I am a feminist. I believe in empowering women. Women raise families alone as a majority in the USA.
I've always been told an affair can help a marriage. I suppose taking a lover when there is honesty can work for some. I don't judge people and their passions.
As a woman sincerely married for what I thought was the rest of my life, I found it extremely painful to be truncated from my future plans. I was floundering for a long time. It took me four years to sign the divorce papers. He didn't mind maintaining a false marriage, it played well to end relationships with women he did not care for except for a sexual interlude.
I didn't judge the other women. I didn't care to know them. I had my hands full and I had to put my heart back together. There were some very nasty things said about me in those four years by people I thought of as friends. I was never up for a good cat fight. Maybe that was what they thought should happen to shake him back to reality. In that reality of defaming were excuses made by him. He didn't mind providing excuses for his actions. AND! I had a right to defend myself and my marriage.
When people who want to claim to be feminists state Hillary Clinton said terrible things about the women involved in Bill's affairs, they don't give a damn about women. Not really. Married women have the high road and have every right to defend their marriage, especially when there are children. The laws of the USA recognize marriage as a social norm and destroying that norm comes with consequences. In some states in the USA, if a wife can prove an affair broke up the marriage there can be lawsuits filed not just for divorce but for damages caused by the other woman. Imagine having a judgement leveled against you for an affair that broke up a marriage only to have the relationship dissolve. That is poetic justice.
Being a feminist does not mean hating men and the sexual affairs they have. Feminism is about empowerment. That means if the three adults involved in a sex triangle needs to resolve it, there should be a degree of maturity to handle the relationships. That means it ends in divorce or otherwise. Does anyone believe Bill Clinton was ever going to divorce Hillary? That was never going to happen. Any woman involved with a married man that has a political career should know their future in the relationship was very limited.
The women in those triangles or those claiming have experienced sexual assault were empowered. At the time of Jennifer Flowers affair she received financial advances in her career, but, that ended when she went to the public on a national basis. The woman that claimed sexual harassment was validated. She wasn't swept under the carpet. Monica was asked to apply for other jobs outside the White House. She was provided a good reference. In all these cases it was the media that destroyed the women, not the married couple of Bill and Hill. In Monica's case it was a political operative that threw her under the bus.
Feminists need to concentrate on the way the media destroyed the lives of at least three women. Those women were sensationalized and received no financial benefit from it. They were ground into the dirt under the media's heel.
That is the issue. Hillary Clinton is not the issue. I always thought she had her priorities straight, validated the love of her husband and the honor of their daughter. How many children are abandoned by their fathers in this country when they simply don't want the marriage anymore? That didn't happen and it set a darn good example for many.
I don't care to digest the warfare of the mistresses and the way the marriage and parenting was defended. That is simply validating the media had the right to destroy women, including the one that is running for President today.
Feminism is about maturity, seeing inequalities and moving against them. Feminism is about breaking down prejudge against women. It is about giving women a fighting chance in life. It is about women growing wealth. It is about the protections of the children they hold dearly all their lives. It has absolutely nothing to do with the way women CHOOSE to live their personal lives. And I am tired of counting the causalities.
Enough.
I married my high school sweetheart. We shared so much in life. Besides our history we loved the same exact things about life. When we decided to be a young farm family we were embraced by the community in the state. We had great support from family, too. We knew what we were doing. After two years of hard work we had a son born to us. We could not be happier.
When we were visiting my sister-in-law and her family for an evening meal my then husband bragged about wanting a second child. I stopped the pill without pause and in no time I was expecting again. I was five months pregnant when I learned my husband was having an affair. I am not going to get into the details, but, it was devastating and the marriage did not survive it for many reasons including financial pressure that came with a change in his dedication to our dream farm.
It was primarily substance abuse and it was ongoing even after I learned of it and his family told him they would not support him through any such change in lifestyle. Sexual identity didn't play a part. It took eight years, but, when my former spouse came back to his parents home he was clean and working a job far different than a farm. We were divorced by then. He deeply regretted what had happened to "The Us" he no longer had.
I was raising two children alone, returned to school and started a new career all because a local female drug dealer thought farming was fun.
During my return to being single I dated a few men. I was seeing a man when one day I was at work and a co-worker came up to me and asked if I was seeing John Smith (mythical name). I smiled and said yes as a matter of fact we had spent the previous evening together. My co-worker told me he was married. I could not believe it. There were no clues to his married status. My co-worker then told me who his wife was and I knew her from my employment. I cut off the relationship regardless of the pain I was feeling.
Even after boyfriend told me he was separated and saw no need to share that; I simply told him he needed to be more honest with any women he sees in the future. He was the father of two children. Being involved with a married man and a family man is hugely wrong. A woman needs to date honestly to know if there are children on his side of the equation and what that meant for her life.
I am a feminist. I believe in empowering women. Women raise families alone as a majority in the USA.
I've always been told an affair can help a marriage. I suppose taking a lover when there is honesty can work for some. I don't judge people and their passions.
As a woman sincerely married for what I thought was the rest of my life, I found it extremely painful to be truncated from my future plans. I was floundering for a long time. It took me four years to sign the divorce papers. He didn't mind maintaining a false marriage, it played well to end relationships with women he did not care for except for a sexual interlude.
I didn't judge the other women. I didn't care to know them. I had my hands full and I had to put my heart back together. There were some very nasty things said about me in those four years by people I thought of as friends. I was never up for a good cat fight. Maybe that was what they thought should happen to shake him back to reality. In that reality of defaming were excuses made by him. He didn't mind providing excuses for his actions. AND! I had a right to defend myself and my marriage.
When people who want to claim to be feminists state Hillary Clinton said terrible things about the women involved in Bill's affairs, they don't give a damn about women. Not really. Married women have the high road and have every right to defend their marriage, especially when there are children. The laws of the USA recognize marriage as a social norm and destroying that norm comes with consequences. In some states in the USA, if a wife can prove an affair broke up the marriage there can be lawsuits filed not just for divorce but for damages caused by the other woman. Imagine having a judgement leveled against you for an affair that broke up a marriage only to have the relationship dissolve. That is poetic justice.
Being a feminist does not mean hating men and the sexual affairs they have. Feminism is about empowerment. That means if the three adults involved in a sex triangle needs to resolve it, there should be a degree of maturity to handle the relationships. That means it ends in divorce or otherwise. Does anyone believe Bill Clinton was ever going to divorce Hillary? That was never going to happen. Any woman involved with a married man that has a political career should know their future in the relationship was very limited.
The women in those triangles or those claiming have experienced sexual assault were empowered. At the time of Jennifer Flowers affair she received financial advances in her career, but, that ended when she went to the public on a national basis. The woman that claimed sexual harassment was validated. She wasn't swept under the carpet. Monica was asked to apply for other jobs outside the White House. She was provided a good reference. In all these cases it was the media that destroyed the women, not the married couple of Bill and Hill. In Monica's case it was a political operative that threw her under the bus.
Feminists need to concentrate on the way the media destroyed the lives of at least three women. Those women were sensationalized and received no financial benefit from it. They were ground into the dirt under the media's heel.
That is the issue. Hillary Clinton is not the issue. I always thought she had her priorities straight, validated the love of her husband and the honor of their daughter. How many children are abandoned by their fathers in this country when they simply don't want the marriage anymore? That didn't happen and it set a darn good example for many.
I don't care to digest the warfare of the mistresses and the way the marriage and parenting was defended. That is simply validating the media had the right to destroy women, including the one that is running for President today.
Feminism is about maturity, seeing inequalities and moving against them. Feminism is about breaking down prejudge against women. It is about giving women a fighting chance in life. It is about women growing wealth. It is about the protections of the children they hold dearly all their lives. It has absolutely nothing to do with the way women CHOOSE to live their personal lives. And I am tired of counting the causalities.
Enough.
