Saturday, May 27, 2006

My favorite misuse of language.

A State Board of Health team arrived to inspect a local hospital.

One of it's concerns was the security of the patients and visitors against large supplies of medications of all kinds.

The hospital staff was using 'rolling' medication carts whereby the cart could be taken to the patient room for administration of their ordered perscriptions. There were no narcotics in the medication carts. There were 'lay people' including children in the hospital rooms. The carts had locks.

During the inspcection a surprise visit was payed to the Orthopedic Department where many patients were encouraged to be ambulatory in their recovery from surgery, either with or without assistive devices. The inspector approached a medication cart outside a patient room. The nurse administering medications was inside the patient room. The inspector reached for a draw with a patient name on it and opened it with ease.

When the nurse came from the room the inspector was annoyed as she hastily wrote down the violation. "You left the cart unlocked. You are endangering the lives of innocent people including inquisitive children. I'll have to include your name in this report." The inspector wrote down the name of the nurse from his identity badge.

In reply, he stated: "Excuse me. Before you write anything down, I am completely within the practices of the law."

The inspector quite astounded by the assertion stated, "I am sorry, but, you are not."

"Oh yes, I am." said the nurse. "The law states the medication cart has to be locked."

The inspector, "That's right."

The nurse, "Well, it is. It doesn't roll anywhere. I have the wheels locked."