Friday, November 04, 2011

It is excessive, unnecessary and removes the daughter's dignity.





I have raised two sons to manhood without beating them.  In my opinion the judge beat his daughter to prevent his own shame should she have been discovred with shared music files.  Parenting requires more than a leather belt. 

She seems like a wonderful person and for the life of me I can't understand how a grown man could raise a hand to her, yet alone beat her with his belt.  One of the joys of parenting is to admire the child you have raised and respect them for the love they have shown you in respecting you as a parent.  Beating a child is unnecessary.  How would I have handled the alarm of it all?  Easy.  Get to the bottom of the problem.


In the case of this wonderful young woman she admired and longed for music from Japan.  The music wasn't sold in the USA.  If she had a productive relationship with her parents she would have verbalized her frustration with the reality of it all and stated the extremes she would face in obtaining it.  With that her parents and she could find an entire voyage of understanding the frustration, exploring the possibilities of a music store willing to help and how civilized people go about handling a challenge they weren't prepared for.  But that isn't what occurred.

I have gone on such voyages with my sons.  It is a fascinating place to be as a parent.  Here you are with a dilemma as a parent never have had to face before.  My, my, how human and real and adult does it get?  It is a voyage of reality in that the children you parented now know their Mom isn't all knowing and does not have every answer under the sun.  Wow.  That is hardly threatening. 

The challenge of entering into an understanding of a parent with a child or young adult in coming to terms with growing up and accepting life as it is presented is one of the best lessons one can teach.  Then to bond over a 'difference in generational' reality is a magnificent expression of love.  "File sharing," like what is that?  Illegal?  You mean this is illegal?  The dilemma becomes a challenge and one that has to be resolved if a young person is to believe what they long for and have affection for is worthwhile in the pursuit.  What a wonderful reality to have a young person, a parent has poured love, time, effort and financial sacrifice into turning to one or both of their parents with such 'silly stuff' as a Japanese song album.  Who ever considers that to be important in life?

The journey is far more important than the MATERIAL object.  The trust is worth the journey.  And the lifetime of experience and problem solving is worth every ounce of sacrificed pride and affectionate hugs from the child.

This beating was completely unnecssary, cruel to a sixteen year old woman, obviously scarred her even to today and it robbed her of dignity rather than her father swallowing his pride.  I think it is horrible.  I think he is horrible and has absolutely no parenting skills to realize the beauty of the moment and the need for sincere caring and guidance this 'young lady' needed. 

The judge is not able to parent, he is only able to discipline.  I think the judge needs a 'time out chair' for longer than he realizes.  He should not be involved with young hearts and minds.