Sunday, January 28, 2007

Earth Girls Are Easy by Julie Brown

Is it true what they say about Julie?
There she is, let's ask her.

Julie, did you really go out with an alien?
Uh huh

What was it like?
Real different

By the way, where'd you meet him?
I was nude sunbathing on my patio, and he was checking me out from his UFO

Guess he couldn't take it 'cause he lost his cool, crash landed in my
swimming pool
ooh neat

So he beams over too he starts licking his lips, stroking his antenna and
wiggling his hips
I'm no Albert Einstein but I'm not that dumb, I know lust no matter what
planet it's from

He said earth girls, earth girls are easy, earth girls, know how to please
me
Earth girls, earth girls are (easy)

Was he cute?
No way, definitely uncute

Total grossarama, slick as a slug, with a shake-and-bake complexion and
eyes like a bug
Wavy on weird I wanted outta there quick, he was a cross between Flipper
and Alan Thick

Ooh
I ran in the house, I locked every lock, I was not gonna party with some
horny little Spock
All of a sudden I screamed in horror, he was groping my leg through the
doggy door

Earth girls, earth girls are easy, earth girls, love how they tease me
Earth girls, earth girls are (easy)

I can't go on.
What happened next is just too personal to put in a pop song.
If it's that bad, you have to.
Promise you won't tell?
Uh huh

His touch was a love drug, I had to have more, the next thing I knew I had
opened the door
Come in space monkey kiss me here, kiss me there, he's still disgusting but
I didn't care

Give us more details
Oh how do I describe it.

Well you know how a blender has 12 speeds?
Well when he got up to puree I thought I would die.
But when he put it on liquefy, I wanted his baby.
Ohhhhh. Oh yes, yes.

Is that your tongue.
One of them
That sure is a big piece of machinery you've got
I made it myself
Oh you space stud, you
There's no ride like this at Disneyland, baby.
Oh synchronize, synchronize, I'm docking Ohhhhhhh.
And to think we did all that without even touching.

Slow:
Now I'm back to my senses and he's light years away, if he's listening in
space I have something to say
I took the lock off the doggie door, so come back moon doggie when you're
ready for more

Earth girls, earth girls are easy, earth girls, know how to please me
Earth girls, earth girls are (sleazey)
Earth girls, earth girls are easy, earth girls, love how they tease me
Earth girls, earth girls are (easy)
Earth girls, earth girls are easy, earth girls, love how they tease me
Earth girls, earth girls are (very easy)
Earth girls, earth girls are easy, earth girls, know how to please me
Earth girls, earth girls are (easy)