When I reflect on that growth dynamic during this time a support group always comes to this issue. The difference between schools that still conduct in person classes and those that don’t is an invisible support network for the boys. So, what is best?
In observing children and young adults in the classroom during instruction the computer is there anyway. President Obama instituted a national directive to connect children to online education about a decade ago, so the idea the learning distance is the problem during the pandemic is completely wrong.
My experience with boys and young men is that they have a unique way to have an autonomous identity regardless of what is expected of them. That autonomy works well for them but they fight aloneness through physical activity in the way of a competitive spirit. That competitive spirit is a benevolent part of their identity.
A couple of things come to mind for boys. I have learned that in a classroom boys that are not doing well are more physical and mischievous. That unruliness is not a permanent condition. In educating boys a one on one to review the teaching will resolve that physical drive.
I rarely victimize a boy by shaming or sending them to the principal and only if the mischief is very disruptive and dangerous. What transpires is a one on one to teach while other students are working at their desk. Inevitably, the one on one triumphs and my troubled boy takes his seat with the rest of the class to complete his work.
That one on one is magical because it tells the entire class that I care about them and no learning has to be perfect or get a bad grade. After a one on one with a student in full view of the class others children will come to my desk asking for assistance in “getting the lesson right.” It is not cheating, they have to demonstrate a sincere understanding of the lesson. Percentage wise it is usually less than 10 percent of the class requiring help to “get it right.” They are all great young people some need help in “getting it right.”
That said, boys during the pandemic are missing there “playground support group” that assists their identity. I think that is a national shame. Just because a poorly addressed virus is secluding children from playground friends and their sport coaches there is no reason to consider it is okay “for now.” “For now” is forever when boys require validation to achieve their emotional growth.
So what do we do? Ask Tom Brady to do a series of football lessons for young men in high school and boys and the occasional girl. Then broadcast it or put it on “The Mirror” or “Zoom” WITH their hometown coach. It will put a new and novel way of understanding their desire to play a sport. They can practice on their own in measurable “reps,” etc. Reporting in to “the coach” individually or on Zoom will bring validation to their competitive spirit.
The same dynamic can be exercised with most sports that do not require large equipment such as gymnastics. Even gymnastics can be accommodated to a certain extent. There is absolutely nothing wrong with competing against a “personal best” so long as there is no risk for injury. To that end, limits have to be placed to respect the limit of a body to perform. Even Tom Brady knows that pushing past human limits can end a career.
Boys need the physical component to their growth in many cases. If they seem bored in practicing alone, they can teach Dad or Mom how to make the grade.
That is my input for what it is worth.
